Confidence

Is it a skill or is it something born with?

Twelve days, four conversations and approximately two bottles of port have brought us here. It took a great deal to decide whether I wanted to talk about this topic or not. I know I stated this in my video (the one I published on IG  announcing unfiltered soles)but I wasn’t sure how to share it or what context to use.

It’s one thing to talk about confidence, but it’s a different thing explaining the habit of a person who is confident. Some say that it is a skill. Others think that people are just born with it- Nature vs. Nurture. One person even asked me, how do you gain confidence back after losing it? Which means, some also think that it’s possible to have it and lose it.

Before going any further I think it’s important to define the word confidence. According to dictionary.com, confidence can be defined as, the state of feeling certain about the truth of something. Which means it’s a reflection of a mental manifestation. I strongly believe there is a certain parallelism that exist between mentality and confidence. Not enough men in the world can change an ugly woman’s view of herself. If she thinks she’s ugly that she will be. She must first change her view of herself, make it her truth before she can accept it from anyone else.

Yes, I believe confidence is a skill. It’s important to walk in your truth everyday. I’m talking about the very thing that makes you unique, your creed.  The more one practice it the better he/she becomes at it. I also believe that one can be born with it. it’s a personality trait that sets one apart. However,  what I do believe most is that it’s a perspective. Like Henry Ford said“ Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t--- you’re right”. It’s a choice you have to make. A choice to be the best version of yourself. A choice to know that you are good enough and that you belong. It’s choosing people around you who are able to  strengthen your perspective; for confidence is contagious and so is the lack of.

I can only speak from experience. Being confident does not equal perfection. I’ll even go a little further to say perfection does not exist ( at least in my book it doesn’t). There will always be a level of fear, doubt, and depression that matches your level of confidence. However, it’s up to you to choose your truth. At times confidence is mistaken for arrogance or pride. I hear this often “This girl is full of herself”. My question is, if I am not full of myself, who am I suppose to be full of? It’s imperative that I am full of myself in order to give back to humanity.  I like to tell people that my confidence is my substance. When I enter a room, it speaks on my behalf. It gives me meaning. It’s the flavor to my sauce. I can’t tell you how to be confident because you know yourself better than I do. You know what it is that is hindering you from living out loud. I will tell you this, the fact that you know what that thing is gives you emotional intelligence. And that my friend is all you need to make a change. Now you tell me. Is confidence a skill or is it something one is born with? Please comment below. Don’t forget to subscribe. I am looking forward to what you have to share.