GIRL TALK
I am not sure how you’ll process this topic. I promise you if you read this till the end, it’ll be worth it. To my brothers, this is not intentional but it is intentional. Normally when I have “girl talk'' with my girls we often share some intimate things that leave us smiling from ear to ear. Of course, those conversations are often if not always accompanied with a bottle of wine. Yes, we get deep. Deep into the size of our a$$, the work gossip, the relationship conflict and THE SEX. We cannot forget about S.E.X! However, we will not get into any of that today. Before I go any further, I’d like to wish you a happy thanksgiving. May you set time apart to ponder upon all the things/people who bring you joy. Let me remind you to always show gratitude. God admires that! On the other hand, I would like to invite you to join me around this campfire to talk about something that most females have encountered. I say most females because men don’t lose sleep over this type of matter. Feel free to talk to your friends at the friendsgiving or thanksgiving dinner about this. Maybe you can fill me in on what their responses were. Ok, let's get to it. I think the best way to unveil this topic is to propose a question
Why do females feel jealous when their close friends/ bestfriends meet a new man?
We often bring emphasis on how important our friends' happiness is but when reality hits, the true colors, the uncut, unfiltered feeling shows up. Granted, this is not every female. Some females are genuinely happy for their friend when they meet someone; especially if the person is a good man. As you read this, you may be asking yourself “what does she mean by jealousy?” I’m glad you asked. What I mean is resentment, envy, bitterness, mistrust, Hell, just plain out disturbed everytime you see your friend with someone who makes her happy. That emotion is poisonous. It’s not beneficial at all. There are many reasons why someone would feel jealous when their friends start dating a new man. Here are the top two:
Change: the dynamic of the friendship is no longer the same. They may feel like their friend spends more time with the new guy and not enough with them. I have news for you, that’s expected to happen. Matter of fact, you should encourage your friend to spend time with her new beau. How else will she get to know him?
Replace: they may feel like the new man is replacing them. I understand that feeling and it’s normal to feel that way. However, a conversation can clear all those foggy thoughts. You’d be surprised; 9 times out of 10, you are not being replaced.
Ladies:
The idea of losing a friendship over a man is not a thought that should even be entertained if the friendship is sincere and genuine. If you really want good for your friend and you think that man is good, make peace with reality. Life changes whether we want it to or not. Occupy your free time with other things such as learning something new, exercising, meditating, just spend time with yourself. Learn to enjoy YOU. As for the friend who now has a man, learn how to balance your new relationship with your friendship. Don’t trade your friendship for something new. Figure out ways to include both your friend and Beau. I don’t advise hooking your friend up with your man’s best friend or brother just because you feel bad for her. NO! That's a bad move. Let her find her own person at her own pace. Personally, I think there’s way more important things to invest energy in than creating animosity over the next person’s relationship. I don’t know about you, but I'm trying to figure out a way to keep my hips and knees working till I’m 90- especially with my little ball of energy (son).
As always, check in. Let me know your thoughts on this topic. Feel free to comment below and don’t forget to subscribe for more updates.