Would you risk a friendship for love?
“Wishing to be friends is quick work. But friendship is a slow ripening fruit.” Aristotle.
One, two, three, four umm wait there’s one more five- I count on my left hand as I recite my friend’s names silently to myself. Five. Not ten, not twenty or thirty just five. Can you believe it?
I am not one to talk about my friends to my friends, but I think it’s safe to share a little with you at this stage of our friendship. Yes, I called you friend. After reading 11 blogs, I think we know a little about each other. I have five friends who I consider my confidants. They are some of the best souls I’ve ever met. I’m talking about people who will give you their last dollar as they stay hungry. I count myself as blessed. Let’s be honest, how many of us have at least one friend we can call when in need? Ask yourself? You might be the one everyone calls. Just like Love, the meaning of friendship has diminished greatly. We live in a technology era which refines human connections. It’s hard, almost impossible to find a friend who is willing to invest wholeheartedly into you without wanting anything in return. Which brings me to my question to you- Would you risk a friendship for love?
Imagine meeting someone eight years ago. You both share some of the best and worst times of your lives. You both know there is chemistry between you two but never act on it. This is someone who is very dear to your heart, no one can replace this person. Is it worth taking things to a different level or remain friends? Before going any further, I want to first explore the negative notion that a female and male can’t have a dedicated platonic friendship/relationship. I can’t wrap my head around the idea that if a man is friends with a female they have to be sex partners. It’s mind bending! I strongly believe that a man and woman can have a friendship that is 100 percent on the surface. No sexual expectations from both party. Human connection is an exceptional thing when done right. Personally, I take my friendships very seriously. If I consider you as a friend, I am signing up to be your supporter, counselor, sister, pillar when life strikes and I expect the same in return. Just because someone is an associate does not give them the right to be a friend. It requires a great deal of energy, patience, and dedication to be a good friend. IT IS HARD WORK.
To answer my question, I think it’s a case to case situation. Let me explain:
CASE 1. HOOK UPS: If you both are single, not looking for anything serious, than yes. It may be worth exploring. Under one condition- you both have to know the terms and CONDITIONS. One person might end up getting attached. I only hope the other reminds him/her what he/she signed up for.
CASE 2. TITLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES: I’ve heard that titles don’t mean anything. I beg to differ. As a friend, you ought to do what friends do. Such as, join me for dinner, listen when I need to talk about my partner, go for drinks, support my blog, give me feedback about the size of my ass, just to name a few. As my man, I expect all that is stated above and then some more. I expect good morning and good night calls, intimate conversations, a traveling partner, a problem solver whether that be mentally or financially, sex on a regular, foot rubs, long walks on the beach; shall I keep going? If the shoe don’t fit please do not wear it! Some people are not aware of the kind of responsibilities that comes with being a partner. A substitute teacher can’t have the same responsibilities as a principle.. They are both skillful, yet one is expected to deliver on a bigger scale.
CASE 3. INTUITION:: who knows better than you? Some people are not relationship material- you heard me right! They may be great to look at, funny but impatient, or very controlling. Why even bother getting in a relationship with someone like that. You are setting yourself up for failure. You may not even be able to repair the friendship if things don’t work out. On the other hand, You may found someone and know that deep down inside this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Therefore, you take a chance and the rest might be a happy ending. Follow your heart.
CASE 4. ME: Because I value my friendships so much, it’s nearly impossible for me to even entertain the idea of risking my friendship for love. What if things don’t work out? I’m one of those people who ends the chapter, throw away the pen and burn the book. Once I end a relationship especially a romantic one, I erase the person from my memory. Believe you me, it’s that easy for me. Therefore, in my case, I would say NO. Simply because I know I would not be comfortable with rekindling the friendship.
“Wishing to be friends is quick work. But friendship is a slow ripening fruit”. Aristotle. I think Aristotle said it best. I can’t wait to hear from you on this subject! Please comment below and don’t forget to subscribe for more updates!