Emotional Nakedness!
I’m mad! I’m not talking about the type of emotion you can sleep on, because the next day everything is expected to be back to normal- NO. Not the type of mad that can be suppressed with an apology- NO. I am MAD MAD! The type that makes you uncomfortable to sleep at night. The type of mad that makes you question your belief. MAD. And if you are seeing half of the things that are happening in the world right now, you ought to be too. Please someone, anyone, remind me that there is some good left in humanity. I’m LIVID and I have given myself full permission to feel this way.
Disclaimer: this is not the “ diary of a mad black woman”. It’s simply emotional nakedness.
It’s natural for me to dive into deep conversations with the people closest to me. This one particular conversation left me in a preternatural space. The look in his eyes alone expressed the hurt he was feeling deep down in his soul. Well, the hurt we all are feeling. “Dash, this is over 450 years of black people fighting, when will it end?” he forced out as he deeply sighs. In all honesty, his question is the same question I have. This is the same question Martin Luther King Jr. had; as he poured out his heart to the clergymen through a six page letter from the Birmingham jail. Note to self: Remember to write a separate blog about the “letter from the Birmingham jail”
We all see the malpractice that has been going on in the world. Us, black people are being treated worse than animals. This type of treatment has killed us emotionally and physically; Literally! I am a victim of emotional numbness. It’s okay for me to reveal that to you because of the title of this blog. It breaks my heart to see a police officer effortlessly, naturally kill a black man, with no remorse . Imagine if that man was your father, son, brother, uncle, cousin… This is something we’ve been enduring for years. When will enough be enough? Will we ever see equality in this world? I wonder what white people would do if the tables were turned. Give them a taste of their own medicine. What if black cops start executing no-knock warrants and shoot white ladies? What if black cops start kneeling on white men’s neck, interrupting their breathing until they die? Really, what would happen then?
So here I am, sitting on my couch with a cup of tea in my right hand, and a million thoughts in my head. I am challenging myself to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Challenging myself to believe that there is still some good left in people. That people make mistakes and I am in no position to judge. However, I can’t push myself to accept the fact that this is the same quote on quote mistake that has been happening for the past 450 years. WE ARE TIRED AMERICA! Tired of the manipulation, the disrespect, the maltreatment, the separation, the racism, the KILLINGS! We are tired. I’ve been told that this is the land of the free but I choose to think otherwise. This country is a place of disgrace, a place of organized crime. I’m tired of writing rest in peace, I look forward to the days I can write- live in peace.
It’s no secret that what we are going through affects all of us in some shape or form. I salute those who are out protesting, standing for what is right. My prayer goes out to the families who have wrongfully lost their loved ones. There’s nothing anyone can say or do to bring them back. Sincerely, I am sorry for your loss. I would love to hear from you. Let me know how you’re handling all that is going on right now. Comment below and don’t forget to subscribe.